10 New Jerseyans Who Would Not Make a Good Pope
With the current Pope stepping aside, it's time to grab some smoke and elect a new leader.
What are the chances that the new Pope will be from New Jersey? OK, not very good.
Just in case, here's a look at 10 New Jerseyans who would not be a good choice:
1. Donald Trump. (yeah, he's from New York, I know, but there's still a couple casinos here using his name) The hat would mess up the hair.
2. Bruce Springsteen. I couldn't see him riding along in the Pope-mobile, could you?
3. Chris Christie. Too busy for President? Too busy for Pope.
4. Bruce Willis. You don't want your Pope to have to Die Hard.
5. Joe Pesci. Couldn't see over the lectern-thingy.
6. Atlantic City Mayor Lorenzo Langford. He can't get along with the governor. He won't be able to get along with the cardinals.
7. Kelly Ripa. A woman can't be Pope.
8. Cat Country's Georgia. A woman can't be Pope.
9. Sarah Ross Restuccio. A woman can't be Pope. But, just maybe she can be an American Idol!
10. Me. I'd spend too much time praying for me, and not enough praying for everyone else....