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Fortune Cookie Fortunes Lacking Fortunes

Fortune Cookie
Chris Coleman

Apparently, there have been budget cuts in the fortune writing department at the fortune cookie factory.

First of all, I don’t know about you, but I get disappointed when the fortune in a fortune cookie is a statement instead of a fortune. It’s not a statement cookie or a sentence cookie — it’s a fortune cookie.  It’s supposed to say something whimsical and mildly entertaining. ” :-) The Chinese ancient civilization attracts you :-) ” isn’t a fortune — it’s a statement — and not even one that’s remotely true about me. Well, maybe it is a little true since I’ve actually spent time on Google researching General Tso to find out why someone with an apparent military background is known for really, really tasty bits of chicken. But besides that, I have no interest in ancient Chinese civilization.

And then there’s, “A nice cake is waiting for you.”

Where?

While these are close, the worst fortune I ever received was, “you’ll soon be invited to a karaoke party.”

Maybe I can take my nice cake to the karaoke party.

If you’ve received an awful fortune in a fortune cookie, please share it in the comments section below.

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