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Local Radio Host Hits The Lottery!

Joe Lottery WinnerThat would be me. Me, Joe Kelly. Lottery Winner.

If you were hoping that I was just coming forward with one of the winning tickets worth 500 gazillion dollars from the Mega Millions drawing a few weeks ago – you, know, the one where you won 107th of the ticket – you are mistaken.

I didn’t win that much money. I did win, though.

Let me start by saying that our Cat Country Psychic Artie Hoffman didn’t supply me with the winning numbers. Although Artie has tried to funnel winning numbers to me in the past, it has never really worked out.

No, this time, I psychically (is that even a word?) came up with the winners numbers on my own.

Early in the afternoon yesterday, I was picking up a prescription for my wife at our local pharmacy in Egg Harbor Township. Before the pharmacist gave me the medicine, I had to supply my wife’s birthdate.

It was at that moment that my brain froze. Absolutely froze. This happens to me often. The information is in my brain, but I can’t get it to my mouth. Usually, it happens when I’m introducing two acquaintances to one another. My mind blanks out and I just can’t remember.

This time, my wife’s birthdate was right on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t get it out. I remembered the year first (she’s eight years younger than me).  So, I blurted out the year…..then the month, December.  (I then realized this was a funny way to give someone’s birthdate.) The day was the tough part…. It was either Pearl Harbor Day, or a day close to it. (In my defense, my Dad, my sister, and my wife all have birthdays in the same part of December.)

“December 7th”, I finally blurted out.

“Wrong”, the pharmacist says.

“Then, it’s the 8th”, I said.

Somehow she then handed the prescription, and I was off the hook.

Later on in the day, I found myself walking by the lottery counter in the grocery store. I remembered the trouble I had with my wife’s birth date, so I decided to play it. One pick three bet, 1-2-8, straight and box.

Box because I don’t yet fully trust my psychic abilities.

I should have. The winning number drawn last night in the New Jersey Lottery’s Pick 3 Game: 1-2-8.

Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!

I’m in the winnings for around 250 bucks. That’s the good news. The bad news, I’m usually “Even Steven.” That means, when something good happens, my luck evens out with something bad following right behind it. I wouldn’t recommend standing near me today…..

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