Nearly three years after his divorce from Kacey Musgraves, Ruston Kelly is opening up about the factors that led up to their split and the aftermath. In a wide-ranging new interview with Spin, Kelly delved into his background, his struggle with drugs and the high-profile divorce, revealing he actually tried to reconcile with his former wife.

Kelly reveals that his struggle with drugs began early in his career, when he first took Adderall. The issue continued to escalate, and it peaked in 2015 when he overdosed. He was clean when he met Musgraves, though, and he recalls the first time he saw her in the front row at one of his shows.

They married in October 2017, but by December of the next year, his addiction had ramped up again. Musgraves responded to the crisis with support.

"I said to Kacey, 'I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know why I did this,'" he tells the publication. "I was worried about hurting her. She said that we were going to figure it out."

He got sober again, but their marriage didn't last. Kelly reveals that it was initially his idea to separate from Musgraves and go forward with a divorce, but that was a decision he soon came to regret.

Kelly says he went to great lengths to try to earn Musgraves back, even having a jeweler recreate the engagement ring he gave her when he proposed marriage. He proposed to her again, but she said no.

After his marriage was officially over, Kelly spent time living at the Virginia home of John Carter Cash's grandmother (Musgraves and Kelly worked with Carter Cash on their reimagined version of "To June This Morning"). It was there that the grief of the situation hit him.

"The moment I walked in the door, I crumbled," he says. "I’m not a crier, but I probably cried for three days straight. . . I just needed to have a massive reset."

Kelly continued that reset by moving to a home an hour north of Nashville in the small town of Portland. That is where his latest album, The Weakness, was born. The project allowed him to process the events of the past few years and find balance in his life.

"All I ever wanted to be was great, by my own measure,” he says. “I’ve always had the need to be better. If you told me to run a mile, I’d try to run five. My biggest challenge in life — I’m a Leo — is to own what a lion is. I always thought being a lion is being in charge of your most powerful self. It’s actually about being your most balanced. That’s where true power comes from."

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