On TV Next Summer: “Jersey Shore Shark Attack”
Syfy, the cable network that specializes in combining hunting for the paranormal with professional wrestling, has a new TV movie in the works for next summer: “Jersey Shore Shark Attack.”
No, I’m not joking.
If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “if only they could combine Jersey Shore with Jaws,” this could be for you. The “all-star” cast includes Paul Sorvino, Jack Scalia, Tony Sirico (from The Sopranos), William Antheton, former N’Sync member Joey Fatone, Vinny from Jersey Shore, and actress Melissa Molinaro playing a character called “Nooki.”
What’s the plot, you ask? It’s pretty deep… it’s July 4th weekend at the Jersey Shore where rare swarms of sharks find themselves off-shore due to illegal underwater drilling and the locals attempt to save the day. Tony Sirico plays a, “former Guido beach bum who is now police chief ” (New Jersey stereotype #1), Paul Sorvino is a borderline-corrupt mayor (New Jersey stereotype #2), William Antheton is a greedy developer (New Jersey stereotype #3) who wants to build what is described as an “anti-Guido luxury resort” (stop laughing — this is real), Vinny from Jersey Shore is a reporter, and Joey Fatone plays himself.
You know you’ll watch it to see just how bad it is.