WARNING: This is a joke post and the result of a strange girl with too much time on her hands. You have been warned.

Back during my first semester of my freshman year in college I spent every Wednesday and Saturday with my friends Ashley and James. We met in our history class and just happened to be in the same psychology class as well on the same days. In between classes we hung out doing a lot of random stuff. Why do you care about this backstory? You don't, but it is what gave me inspiration for this post.

One day we went for pizza and I ate way too much. I joked about my food baby and named him Nanook. For all of you 90's kids out there you might recognize the name, it's the name of the husky Beanie Baby. This leads us to today where I will tell you what you should name your food baby based off of what created that beautiful bundle of joy.

Pizza:

While I don't think it's the best fit for pizza, I'm going to have to go with Nanook for this one just because of history. Now, Nanook is gender neutral so no matter what type of pizza made this food baby it will work.

Pasta:

I know there are many different types of pasta out there and a ridiculous amount of sauces. However, we are grouping them all together. It's my list, I can do what I want. I'm going with Lottie for pasta. Why? Well, I really like Phantom of the Opera and "Little Lottie" is a song from the show. Yes, this post is quite self indulgent.

Chicken:

I won't lie I Googled "what should I name my chicken" to find a good name for this one. I found someone on a blog post suggest the name Phoenix, which I'm good with. Again, I would consider it gender neutral. Plus, a phoenix is a type of mystical bird and you just ate a bird. That works right?

Ham:

If you went a little crazy on the Eater ham and feel like your stomach grew three sizes that day like the Grinch's heart, you could name that beautiful food baby Mathias. The name Mathias means gift of God, which is perfect for Easter Sunday. You can even shorten the name to Matt, but where is the fun in that.

Bread:

Say hello to your baby Abner. I realized Abner was the name of a cartoon pig, which would've probably made this name better for ham. Oh well.

Steak:

Again, I turned to Google for this name. I searched "tough boy names" and the first name I saw was Daxton and my decision was made. I feel like steak is tough and rugged so we needed a name that mirrored that.

Think Stock

Ice Cream:

I can't deny this choice derived from my love of the TV show Supernatural. Hey, we all get inspiration from somewhere and mine just happens to be from nerdy shows. So, if you ate your way to a food baby with ice cream name the precious angel Amara. For some reason this amuses me.

Sushi:

The name for your sushi food baby has no rhyme or reason other than I chuckled from it. Welcome your new baby Buck.

French Fries:

I know it sounds a lot like Benji and well it is only one letter off, but Kenji is the name of your food baby. Who hasn't indulged themselves in some hot tasty french fries. Even if you weren't hungry anymore, you always make sure you finish your fries.

Tacos:

Doesn't the name Parisa sound so beautiful. It suits the beautiful nature of the taco. Tacos are just so perfect.

Cake:

This encompasses all types of cake and all flavors. Name that food baby you worked so hard to create Imogen. Why? No clue.

Burgers:

Welcome your beautiful baby Langley. Another gender neutral name for your baby. 4th of July is right around the corner, I feel like there will be a lot of Langleys.

 

Well there you have it. Now you don't have to fight with your significant other over what to name your food baby. Five points to Gryffindor if you made it through this whole post. Go you!


 

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