Forgive me, but I have some things I need to get out of my head. Maybe they'll make sense to you.


  • Joe Kelly

    Why Can't We Be Nice Like People on Boats are Nice?

    Have you ever noticed what people on boats do when they see other people on boats? They wave! Do you know what people on land do when they see people in boats? They wave! Nobody waves at me when I'm in my car. I need a boat

  • Joe Kelly

    Isn't It Nice Being Around Nice People?

    Nobody likes to be around bullies, mean people, or idiots. These people in this photo are nice people. It's great when people are nice to each other.

  • Joe Kelly

    Garth Brooks in an Entertainer Like No Other

    If you ever have a chance to go see Garth Brooks, go! NO ONE knows how to entertain like Garth Brooks. Is he the best singer? No. Is he an expert at winning over every person in the room? Yep!

  • Joe Kelly

    After Fighting it My Whole Life, I Will Admit that I Like Dogs!

    I guess I'm a dog person. I've had dogs, but I have almost never been close to them. They've always been someone else's dog. I'd love to have another dog as long as I don't have to feed it, take it out, or clean up after it.....

  • Joe Kelly

    Pete Rose Should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame

    Yes, he gambled on baseball. Yes, he lied about gambling on baseball. He was one of the best baseball players that ever played the game, though.  Hey, put him in the Hall, and write what I just wrote on his plaque. That pretty much explains it, right?

  • Joe Kelly

    NASCAR's in Trouble.

    Declining viewership, declining attendance, not enough stars. Heck, reigning champ Martin Truex's team is folding at the end of the year because they can't stay in business. I wish someone had a better answer. I can't mention Martin without a shoutout to his girlfriend Sherry Pollex: what a strong, bright woman! She continues to beat cancer! What a great role model!

  • Joe Kelly

    Moms Are The Best

    No one will ever love you like your mom. Go call your mom right now, OK?

  • Joe Kelly

    Kids Really Do Grow Up Fast

    When you're a parent with young kids, people always talk about how fast they will grow up. Turns out they were right. Maybe they even undersold it. My kids are now 26 and 23. What the heck? I mean, what the heck?

  • Joe Kelly

    That One Time I Got Nervous

    I've met all kinds of famous people. I don't think I was ever as nervous as I was meeting Lee Greenwood. "God Bless the USA" indeed.

  • Joe Kelly

    Don't Mess With Things That Can Eat You

    A bit of advice from me to you.