You used to have to go into one of those shady "adult bookstores" to get yourself some "marital aids." At least that's what I've been told by people who use them. No judgment here.

There would be adult videos, assorted provocative clothing and costumes and yes, adult toys. Well, most if not all of those stores are gone, and most people use the internet for their adult film content and order their toys discreetly online. So I'm told.

Since those wonderful boutiques of bountiful bits for your boudoir have been banished to the ash bin of retail history, somebody had to sell that stuff in stores.

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Dennis Malloy / Townsquare Media
Dennis Malloy/ Townsquare Media

That somebody is your friendly neighborhood Walmart.

We saw a post this week on the Howell Happenings forum on Facebook that warned people if they're shopping with their kids to avoid the DILDO section. We sent out a team of investigators (I went to my local Walmart in Marlton) to survey the situation and find out if this was true.

Yes, tucked away in a corner of the store past the prescriptions counter, locked in a display case, there they were. I was terrified. Not of the products, but because here I am a middle-aged man taking pictures of the dildo shelves at my local Walmart.

Dennis Malloy / Townsquare Media
Dennis Malloy / Townsquare Media

One section said, "Showcase out of order." So, I guess you have to ask someone in a blue smock to come over with a key and unlock the showcase for you so you can examine and perhaps purchase one of these modern marvels of electronic delight.

If you're a regular Walmart shopper, please don't be offended by what I'm about to say. Have you seen the average Walmart shopper?!?!?! There is a need for these products there.

Dennis Malloy / Townsquare Media

The products are high up in a display case, locked away from conventional access and they are in a corner of the store that carries "personal items" so the chances of children's minds being poisoned by the sight of these things is slim to none.

The things I do for this place!!

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Gallery Credit: Madison Troyer

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Gallery Credit: Madison Troyer & Zack Abrams

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Dennis Malloy only.

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