10 People You NEVER Want to Be at the Gym

I'm not sure if you know this, BUT when I go to the gym, I don't want to talk to you... For one, I'm sweaty and gross. Two, I don't want to be there any longer then I have to be.

In which case, if you're just sitting on a machine talking to your gym buddy for 10 minutes, that's a machine I COULD be using to complete my workout and I COULD have been home by then so, I blame YOU, machine hogger. 

You have to be kidding me with this one right?! If I'm using a machine that YOU want to use, please do not hover over me or stand behind me expecting me to half-ass my work out just so you can get on the machine quicker...

Kindly ask to "work-in" with someone who is using a machine that you need to use. You can alternate turns between sets!

However, don't expect me to say yes cause I don't wanna wait for you either. So basically, leave me alone and find another machine to use.

Haha. HA. Cause it's your gym and we're all just living in it right?!

WHAT IN YOUR RIGHT MIND MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN SAVE 3 MACHINES FOR YOURSELF.

By "reserve" I mean, the person who puts their things on machines to make sure no-one else uses them between circuits. The Purpose: So that they can go from one machine to the other without having to wait for someone else.

This happened to me yesterday and I was so over it (because it's happened to me before) I simply placed their things on the ground next to me and continued. Which, proceeded to evoke person #2 above, and I can't deal.

This was also me yesterday...I found myself trapped on the elliptical between two friends who were running along side of me.

I'm sure you can assume what happens next but let me just tell you... THEY HAD A FULL SHOUTING CONVERSATION OVER ME. 

Like damn, I'm just trying to listen to some music and burn some cals, and I have to listen to you dudes talk about how big your muscles are. SLAY ME, please.

Personally, I'm not one to rock a sports bra at the gym. But hey all the power too ya! Just please make sure the goods are tucked in...I don't wanna see all that! I'm not a rock, I jiggle, and I don't want you to see that either!

PLUS, there's a difference between the person who wear's minimal clothing because they're over heated, and the person who does it to try and get attention.

And we can all agree, it's very VERY easy to spot the difference so YES, I'm judging you.

Fun Fact: Life still happens around you when you have headphones in.

In which case, you may THINK people can't hear you but trust me, we can. If you're hosting a full blown concert at the gym, singing alone to your playlist, please at least make sure that 1. You're good and 2. not singing opera...

This should go without saying but here it is: DON'T WEAR MAKE-UP TO THE GYM.

If you're standing behind me when I scan my membership card at the gym, you'll see my picture pop-up and it's HEINOUS.

But YOLO cause when I go to the gym I don't plan on looking good... I'm there to sweat out all my sins and accept the consequences.

So if you walk into the gym with a full clown face, I may walk up to you and accidentally throw one of my make up wipes on your face.

Yo. SHUT. UP.

We get it, you're workin' hard. But odds are, you're tearing your muscles rather then building them if you're making continuous noises like that! Like are you ok? Cause you're making me uncomfortable...

........avoid the people doing squats. Cause odds are, they're ripping one every time they go down for the count.

This also goes for person #6,  just because you have headphones in, doesn't mean WE can't hear your farts...

Dear kind Sir/Madame,

We understand that you attend the gym to work your body. However, if your gym etiquette becomes compromised in the process of you jumping around, flailing your weights, doing uncomfortable pelvic thrusts with machines that aren't for that purpose, or flexing at yourself in the mirror, then I suggest either doing A LOT less, or changing your pre workout...