Am I coming on a little strong with the headline here?

Dear Editors of farandwide.com,

I hate you.

Wait, there's more.

Once again, you've chosen to pick on our pachyderm!

I'm talking about the fact that your website has chosen to name Lucy the Elephant "The Most Boring Tourist Trap in New Jersey."

I realize this isn't the first time you've done this, and I don't like it once bit.

What do you have against our 60plus feet elephant that sits just off the beach in beautiful Margate, New Jersey? What? we're you teased by an elephant as a child? Did your mommy refuse to take you to the zoo? Did you cry when the elephants went around the middle ring in the three ring circus?

We happen to love our big ole' elephant, and believe anyone that doesn't love her is a communist. (Well, everyone doesn't think that, just me....)

Lucy is carefree and cool - a perfect example of what we at the South Jersey shore strive to be in our own lives. Lucy is happy, cheerful, and positive. What a great role model for little children and baby elephants everywhere!

You state the following in your story:

What started as a ruse in 1882 poking fun at P.T. Barnum’s Jumbo elephant is now a permanent display, and an awfully lame one at that. Lucy is nothing more than an elephant-shaped building that currently houses a small museum dedicated to its history.

Well, duh! Yes, she is an elephant shaped building! What do you like? Rectangular buildings?

Lucy the Elephant is unique - and we like her that way!

Have you, the editors actually ever VISITED Lucy? You can't just learn her charm by looking at pictures and old black and white movie reels.

Consider this your invitation to come and visit our girl! We just know you'll fall in love.

Sincerely,

Joe Kelly

Friend of Lucy

 

PS. If you're interested, I think we can help you find something more boring in New Jersey than our Lucy. Frankly, there are plenty of options. We'd be glad to help!

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