The Trashiest Love and Lust Posts on South Jersey Craigslist

A few years ago, Craigslist took down it's personals section, eliminating some of the sleaziest personal ads on internet.

It didn't take down its "Missed Connections" section though - so, there's still a place to find the sleazy.

Let me try to explain the "Missed Connections" to you. Well, it can be weird. Literally. People looking for weird people to do weird things. Really weird.

It's also a place where people can post messages to people that they really didn't meet ("I saw you, did you see me?), in hopes of kindling, well, something, in the future.

Who knows if these pleas for an actually connection actually ever work? We have no way of knowing.

We do know, though, that these posts are often highly entertaining.

So, here are some of the best, most recent posts aimed directly at South Jersey people. In addition to the comments, I've also written replies to the comments - how I think the targeted people would reply. I've done this mostly for my own amusement!

*House Party

"...looking for anyone that had attended the party's that were given by a couple down in south jersey wifes name i believe was Janet. They moved to VA. If you did and know of others like that let me know, would like to attend group party again. what was there business that they ran from home?"

My response:

Dear whoever you are,

First, when you write out parties - as in more than one... no apostrophe is needed.... you also spell it differently.... As for people who attended these group parties that you speak of ... they all died from Covid or gonorrhea.

*Saw you on Revolution Rail in Cape May (Cape May)

"You were a gorgeous blond riding the rails with what looked like your three children. We exchanged glances. I would love to meet you. This was on Sunday 7/25"

My response:

Dear person,

I have 3 kids! Any meeting would have to be real quick! I can only afford the babysitter for a half hour!

*Lets Meet Up (Northfield)

"Me: Brunette F walking on Shore Rd towards Tilton. You were in a white Mercedes & asked if I needed a ride. Had to rush off but gave you my #. Try again, new number. Promise I'll Answer"

My response:

Dear Brunette - I work in Northfield!  Street walking, AKA prostitution, is illegal here. By the way, what's your number again?

* Baseball Season (South Jersey)

"Hey couples do you like baseball and want to get back into the SWING of things now things are returning to normal. If you would both like to play with bats its OK, if you both like to catch or just sit on the side and watch the game its good. Ladies if you would like to tryout a new bat I think I can show you how to swing and handle it. LET'S PLAY BALL!"

My response:

Dear Baseball Player... you've been kicked out of the league. Also, the Hall of Fame.

*That voice Roman's pizza (Absecon)

"Counter dude with the sexy ass voice come talk to me please."

My response:

Dear person. Joe Kelly does not work there!