I Will Never Understand Why New Jerseyans Move to Florida
Do I know the statistics behind the claim I am about to make? Absolutely not, but I sure am going to make it anyway. Florida is filled with a lot of people from New Jersey. We know people leave New Jersey in droves and Florida has seen a population increase. Knowing these two things, it is a safe assumption that many of these New Jerseyans are moving to Florida. I've known many people who have moved to the Sunshine State from the Garden State, so I'm going to say it's a pretty solid fact. Okay, it's not a fact, but let's move on.
I am a New Jersey cheerleader, meaning I really love living here and telling people why it's great. While Florida may be a nice place to visit, I could never imagine living there. I also don't know why anyone from the northeast would move down to one of the strangest states in the country. I am going to go out on a limb here and say it is the plane weirdest state. Why would I make such a bold claim? Let's look at the evidence.
Do me a favor when you're done reading this and Google "Florida man." All the cool kids are doing it. If you need a good laugh, this is the perfect thing to procrastinate with. A man once attempted to rob a Wendy's with an alligator. Did he walk in with the alligator and threaten to let it loose on the employees if they didn't give him cash? Nope. He went through the drive-thru and hurled the gator through the window. Only in Florida.
Just last summer, a woman pulled a one-foot alligator from her pants when stopped by the police. Let's reiterate that, a woman had an alligator shoved in her yoga pants. She also had 41 turtles in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack. At least they were in an appropriately themed backpack? Who does that?
Do I need to convince you further why it's weird to move to Florida?
I am a mosquito magnet. I can walk from my house to my car and back and end up covered head to toe in mosquito bites. According to MosquitoMagnet.com, the mosquito season in Florida can start anywhere between early February to early March. In New Jersey, we usually don't see them until late April. I do not need an extended mosquito season. No thank you.
Could you imagine celebrating the holiday season in a warm climate? I visited my friend in Tampa this December. Many places were decorated for Christmas, which just felt weird. So many Christmas songs mention snow and/or cold weather, it feels just plain wrong.
If you live in a highly-populated area of Florida you won't be escaping traffic. Yes, traffic is bad in New Jersey. However, the highways in Florida around the cities are the worst. Plus, they have that SunPass thing that gives you access to other lanes on the highway that still makes zero sense to me.
Do you think there are too many people in New Jersey? Hate to break it to you, but Florida has the third highest population in the country and it keeps growing.
So stay in New Jersey, Florida doesn't need any more northeast transplants.