A Tradition Like No Other (Sort Of): Original Beach Commandments

With today being the first day of summer it’s time to roll out the 15^th edition of what some call “Beach Rules” or “Beach Etiquette” but is officially “The Original Ten Beach Commandments.” For many of us knowing the do’s and don’ts of a day at the beach are obvious but many need a crash course or reminder about how to behave when they come to the Jersey Shore. Others have come up with their own versions of this but only I am qualified to offer the official list:

DO NOT CROWD THY NEIGHBOR. This is not Coney Island so seek space between yourself and those nearby. It’s fine to love thy neighbor but there is no reason to sit right on top of him or her.
DO WEAR A BATHING SUIT THAT MATCHES YOUR BODY-Gravity does things as we get older so if you’re going to wear a thong or speedo please first take a look in the mirror.
DO NOT FEED THE SEAGULLS. It’s nice that you’re a bird lover but when you feed one you bring the entire colony. Plus the food you’re feeding them is actually harmful to the birds.
DO LEARN HOW TO OPERATE YOUR BEACH UMBRELLA. This is especially important on a windy day. Make sure the base is dug in well, angle the umbrella into the wind and keep it as low as possible. If it takes off like a javelin and nearly spears someone don’t put it up the same way again.
DO PLAY GAMES AWAY FROM PEOPLE. Whatever it is from tossing a football to Spikeball play them away from people where there is open space.
DO FILL IN THE HOLES YOU DIG. I’ll never understand this but for some reason when people come to the beach they have an obsession with digging, especially fathers and sons (usually Dad digs and son watches). When you are done excavating fill in the hole so nobody falls in it.
DO NOT LEAVE ANY GARBAGE ON THE BEACH- This includes empty water bottles and yes…diapers.
DO KEEP AN EYE ON SMALL CHILDREN. The beach is a family place but when your unattended children walk over my blanket or throw sand in my direction can you do more than just smile.
DO NOT PLAY MUSIC FOR THE ENTIRE BEACH-Earbuds work great.10.
DO FOLLOW THE LIFEGUARDS DIRECTIONS. If they blow their whistle and move you there is a reason…like maybe you’re near a rip current. They are there to help you and keep swimmers safe.

Follow these simple rules and enjoy your time at the beach. More importantly, don’t ruin it for others.