5 Things I Should be Better at as an Adult
I made a very unfortunate realization this morning. I am a terrible adult. They don't prepare you enough to be an adult. Movies about superheros are more realistic than movies about adulthood. You see adults in movies living their best life, especially young adults. They live in beautiful apartments, have a social life, and seem to have it all together. Having superheros battle aliens seems much more plausible.
I always thought that when I became an adult I would be like an adult in the movies. By movies I mean romcoms. They portray adulthood to be so glamorous. That's why they are comedies, the depiction of adulthood is laughable.
If I lived my life as a romcom I would be living on my own in a beautiful apartment in a big city or just moved to a small, quiet town from a big city. I would be single and not looking for love or just got out of some dramatic relationship. I would have recently started working at a new job. I would go out to fancy bars every night and drink fancy drinks. By the end of the movie I would have met a guy that I thought I would never be interested in, fall in love, have a massive relationship altering fight, and then live happily ever after. Realistic right?
I am not looking for any of these things when I say I should be a better adult. My desires are much more simple.
I am a professional at driving on E. Yes, I know it's bad for the car. I've been told that thousands of times, but it's still not stopping me from doing it. Save your breath, it's not worth your time. I have only ran out of gas once and that was with someone else's car. I hadn't learned how far I could push it. The worst part of this story is I passed at least 4 gas stations and ran out of gas half way between my house and a gas station.
I firmly believe that Target is run be evil geniuses that are set on destroying me. I cannot just walk into Target, get what I went there for, and leave. No, it turns into an hour long therapy session, weaving in and out of the aisles as I fill up my cart with things I don't need.
I wish I could be one of those people who wakes up, goes for a run, takes a shower, eats a real breakfast, sits outside with their morning coffee, and gets to work feeling like they can take on the day. My morning consists of waking up, staring at my clock until the last possible second, taking a shower that takes too long, throwing something on, and running out of the house. At least I got that morning run in.
I swear I have The Elves and the Shoemaker situation going on here. Instead of the elves helping me make shoes, they are spending money. I also have no self-control, which we discussed. See no. 2.
I am a pathological late person. I have been seeing many articles circulating the internet explaining why late people are more successful, so there's that.