An Open Letter To New Jersey During ADHD Awareness Month
ADHD. It's been a topic of discussion in schools and therapists' offices for over 30 years now. You may know somebody who's been diagnosed with it. Maybe, you've only heard about it on the news or on social media.
If you'd consider yourself unfamiliar with the term, consider today your first deep-dive.
First, let's start with what ADHD is not.
- It's not just the kid running around the classroom because he can't sit still.
- It's not just the kid that can't stop talking.
- It's not just the kid that blurts out the answer without raising their hand.
The truth is, ADHD is so much more complicated than that, especially in women since it's harder to diagnose.
ADHD Diagnosis Journey For Women
I was around 20-years-old when I got diagnosed. I can't explain how, but I knew since I was a child that I wasn't like the other kids in my class. I talked a lot, sure, but I didn't suffer in school. I scored highly in all of my school subjects. I didn't really have issues when it came to making friends, either. Retaining them, well, that's another story...
Still, I knew there was something different about me. Little did I know, I'd be later diagnosed with ADHD. All the issues I had in childhood that I had masked for years were all due to the fact that I see the world and function within it differently than most people. I'm neurodivergent.
I have a HUGE heart. Truthfully, it's bigger than pretty much anyone else's I know. A common trait among women with ADHD, but one that can make this world difficult to navigate. We're highly empathetic due to our emotional dysregulation and issues with rejection sensitivity. Also, the ADHD-induced drive for perfection plays a role in this, as well. Some women can get really down on themselves if we're not living up to our own ideas of what it means to be the "perfect" friend. As you can imagine, I was always the easy target for bullies. Luckily, I wasn't afraid to finish any squabbles, if you catch my meaning.
I feel things in a really BIG way. Everything feels magnified for me. That includes the easiest tasks that I somehow think are mountains when they're actually molehills.
It's quite common for people with ADHD to struggle with what @howtoadhd refers to as getting over the "wall of awful." Things that seem like momentous tasks to me really aren't that hard for neurotypicals to complete. They are for people with ADHD, though. Just having to concentrate and focus on beginning said task takes an insane level of energy.
I could go on forever trying to explain to you what ADHD really is and how rough it can be sometimes. The truth is, you're either interested in learning more about it or you'll continue to believe the lie that it's just an excuse to be lazy or to act out or to be late. Time blindness is a HUGE issue for ADHDers, by the way.
ADHD is not a "lack of attention" issue. It's really about our brains wanting to pay attention to too many things at one time. Therefore, it makes it difficult to know where to begin or what to say or how to act. It impacts every single aspect of our lives. The overstimulation is enough to turn us into couch potatoes for days on end because the chronic state of overwhelm is just too much to handle.
October is ADHD Awareness Month. You may not care to learn about what ADHD actually is how it affects each person that's been diagnosed differently. If that's the case, then maybe just try to be a little more empathetic to the struggle this month.
If you're interested in chatting with me about my ADHD journey or would like to know how to help yourself and/or a loved-one, I'm always happy to point you in the right direction. Reach out on Instagram @jahnamichal.
Sincerely,
Jahna, Your Jersey ADHD Bestie
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