This Website Thinks These South Jersey Towns Need To Go
New Jersey is very densely populated, it is our claim to fame. With all of those people comes a lot of towns. New Jersey has 565 municipalities to be exact. NJ.com did a very tongue-in-cheek article about which 25 towns have got to go. Before everyone gets offended and mad, this is clearly a joke article and their reasons are pretty funny.
They didn't limit the towns to South Jersey, they covered the entire state. Other towns they included were Metuchen, South Plainfield, and North Caldwell that just need to go. NJ.com included 7 South Jersey towns on their list. Do you agree with their choices?
Up first on their list is Hi-Nella. Why did they think Hi-Nella has to go? The article jested, "...Any town with the audacity to include a hyphen in its name is already on thin ice — I'm looking at you Avon-By-The-Sea..." How can you disagree with such sound reasoning?
Tavistock is on the list because it has a population of 9.. "...[D]o we really need a town with 9 people in it? Tavistock borough was founded with the purpose of allowing members of the Tavistock Country Club..."
NJ.com lumped Lower, Upper, and Middle Townships in one to get rid of all three at once saying, "What unimaginative dunce came up with these horrible town names? Do all these nice South Jerseyans a favor and merge these three and give them a cool name, like 'Jerseyville' or 'Virtually All Of Cape May County'..." Honestly, the names could've been a bit better. Then again it could've been worse, Buttzville exists...
What's worse than a town with a population of 9? According to NJ.com a population of 4 is worse, which brings us to Pine Valley. I hear Pine Valley and I immediately think of the soap opera All My Children, it was set in a fictional town called Pine Valley. "Like Tavistock, Pine Valley is, quite literally, a golf course masquerading as a town."
The last South Jersey town on NJ.com's list is Woodstown. While the website likes Pilesgrove, well a bar in Pilesgrove, they don't like the fact that Woodstown is completely surrounded by the town. "...[A]nother purposeless doughnut hole town — with the much larger township that completely surrounds it: Pilesgrove, home to the best bar in the state. Wood-Pile needs to just be Pilesgrove and everyone knows it."
Do you think NJ.com on the ball or a bit harsh on its assessment? Find out which other towns NJ.com would get rid of here.