Can You Ever Be Friends With An Ex?
Since cuffing season is almost upon us, I wanted to tackle the age-old question: Can you ever befriend an ex?
Now, please note that when I ask this question, I genuinely mean friends. Obviously, if both parties are mature, you can be civil if you ever run into each other in some sort of social setting, but I'm not referring to an ability or willingness to keep things peaceful. I'm talking about actually keeping each other within your close friendship circle.
As I was strolling about the office, casually asking people's opinion on this topic, I noticed that I was having to define the term "friend" more often than not. There was almost no hesitation to adamantly confirm that civility is possible, however once I elaborated on the context of the question, most were quick to change their answer to a hard no.
Based on the answers I got, I've come to the conclusion that it is possible, but those situations are very few and far between. I personally believe that exes are exes for a reason, so nine times out of ten, there's no reason to keep an ex as a close friend. Also, it's not always healthy if that person represents a toxic part or period of your life.
The consensus seems to be that depending on the situation, a platonic friendship is possible, however both parties and their new/current significant others must be on the same page regarding where an ex stands.
I honestly am not sure how I'd feel if I had a significant other who was friends with his ex. I believe love is a choice, and if you're choosing me, you can't be one foot in and one foot out. That doesn't mean I'm insecure, it just means I know what I want out of a relationship. Plus, I'm not stupid. Let's be honest, if someone is always reaching out to an ex, that usually means that there's still unresolved feelings. I'm someone who wouldn't be upset if a significant other said to me that our relationship isn't working. We could end it in a civilized manner and move on with a mutual respect for each other, but just because you respect each other doesn't mean your friends. I feel like the reason people keep their exes at an arm's length is because people can't come to terms with the feeling of abandonment or rejection that comes with a breakup, so they refuse to give up. Personally, I'd rather the honesty so we can part amicably as opposed to a dramatic soap-opera ending. Things change, and that's okay, because we're all constantly growing and changing - that's the point of life.
So, I guess the jury's still out on this question, but apparently, people have seen it happen. Personally, I don't think you can genuinely be friends with an ex. What do you think?