My Life-Long Friend Died Last Week – Here’s What I Learned

I first met Scott when I moved into a new town when I was about 12. For the next few years, we were the best of pals - did everything together.

We played baseball, tennis, rode bikes, and swam every summer day.

We asked girls to the 8th grade dance and went together with our dates. Later in life, we realized both of us were terribly nervous, but each persevered based on what we perceived to be the other's confidence.

We also built a radio studio in my house, and practiced hosting our own radio shows - a practice that benefited both of us in life. I've spent a career in radio, Scott started out in radio, then carved out a very successful career in the advertising field.

We eventually went off to different colleges, and saw each other less and less over the years. Ten years would go by, and we wouldn't see each other. Then, we'd run into each other - or plan a meet up - and we'd pick things up right where we left them.

In later years, social meeting allowed us to touch base more frequently. We shared our triumphs and tragedies - but, mostly shared some great jokes and laughs.

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Photo by Jake Blucker on Unsplash

"I Have Cancer, and Not Much Time Left"

Earlier this year, Scott reached out to tell me he had stage 4 cancer - of the colon and liver. Time was not on his side.

A round of chemotherapy didn't seem to offer any long term hope, and actually depleted him of energy. He quickly determined that he wanted to live his last days on his terms.
He and his wife called in Hospice, and they helped him immediately. (First thing to learn: Hospice is a wonderful thing. Never overlook it as an option.)

Scott was able to - at least temporarily - regain his lost energy. He was able to spend time with friends and family. He was able to live his last days on his terms - and have all of those conversations that he wanted to have.

I was fortunate to spend an afternoon with him, about two weeks before his last day. I will forever cherish that I got the chance to say goodbye. (Second thing to learn: Never pass on the chance to tell people you love them and care about them - and to say goodbye.)

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Not Many Regrets

Scott was certainly a person who lived his life to the fullest. He was the most creative person I knew - and he always stayed busy.

I had the chance to have several conversations with him this summer, and he talked about seizing opportunities and doing what he wanted to do with his life. Live a purposeful and full life.

In his last days, I asked Scott if he could go back in time, what would he tell his younger self:

"I would probably tell myself to relax more about people; extend more grace; hold fewer grudges; understand that other peoples’ opinions are just as valid. Even though a situation may seem black-and-white to me, others can have a different take on it. I would’ve rolled with all those moments easier."

(Third thing to learn: live life to the fullest. If there's something that you want to try or do - DO IT! Don't wait! This is your time.")

Photo by Mitchell Griest on Unsplash

Well, One Regret

Scott did admit that one thing he should have done is get that medically recommended colonoscopy. There's no way of knowing if it would have caught his cancer, but......who knows?

So, that's the fourth thing to learn: Pay attention to experts and get that colonoscopy when you should. Don't put it off. Get it done.

According to experts, a colonoscopy is the best way to identify problems, and take care of them before it's too late.

The American Cancer Society recommends "people at average risk of colorectal cancer start regular screening at age 45."

If you're reading this, and you're over the age of 45, please call your doctor today. Get the ball rolling. It's that important. I want you here tomorrow.