Relationship Advice from Someone Who Has Not a Clue
When I give advice to people I always have an almost annoying amount of confidence. Even if I haven't had the slightest clue what I'm talking about, the person who I'm talking to doesn't know that. Well, they might know, but in my mind, they don't. This goes for relationship advice.
I don't have a long history to rely on when giving any sort of relationship advice. However, to make up for that I use my keen observational skills. How people make their relationship work, or not work, fascinates me. This has allowed me to analyze friends' and family members' relationships from an outside perspective, a completely unbiased and unfiltered perspective.
If you have ever been asked what's wrong and you answered nothing even if something was wrong, this applies to you. If someone asks you if you're okay or asks you if something is wrong, that means that the person cares about you and wants to help you. Answering no is such a disservice to everyone involved. No, they shouldn't just know what's wrong unless you tell them. If you won't talk things out with your partner you have no right to get mad at them for said things because the ball is in your court to tell them.
This applies to number one. Never expect people to know how you feel or what you're thinking if you don't tell them. This also applies to asking for things you want. If you want to go out on a romantic date or to do something special, don't expect them to take the initiative. I don't know why one person in the relationship is the only one responsible for everything. If you want something ask, if you want to do something ask. Don't just sit back and complain you don't do certain things.
This comes from comedian Daniel Sloss. There is a Netflix comedy special from him called Jigsaw, the part that this applies to is at around 30 minutes into the special. (Forewarning you, he is a Scottish comedian so he has absolutely no filter whatsoever.) He compares life to a jigsaw and how hard it is to find someone who fits into your jigsaw. He made a very pertinent point, if someone wants you to change in order to fit into their jigsaw they don't really love you. Many people find themselves being in love with the idea of someone, rather than the person themselves. If you expect someone to change to fit into your idea of perfect, you don't really love them.
I feel like people subconsciously have unrealistic expectations with their relationships. Rom Coms have ruined it for everyone involved. No one is going to show up on a lawnmower, holding a boombox over their head under your window. Big romantic gestures are not a daily thing and something those big romantic gestures are the little things in life that make you smile.
Making someone feel guilty to get them to do what you want is just plain wrong. Guilt is a powerful thing people use in relationships and no matter how you approach it, it's wrong.
This goes along with #3. If someone asks you to change something about yourself, they don't truly love you. Don't settle for someone who doesn't truly appreciate you and all of your quirks, you deserve better.