The Four Superheroes South Jersey Never Knew It Needed
Happy National Superhero Day!
Do you ever find yourself in a situation wishing that you had a specific super power or superhero to come rescue you? Well, living in South Jersey, I've found myself in more than a few of those scenarios. Sure, they may be minor inconveniences to the rest of the world. That doesn't mean that it wouldn't be GREAT to have an easy fix for them, though.
So, I thought it'd be fun to celebrate the holiday by providing you with the heroes you never asked for, but that we as South Jersey residents really need. The list could go on and on, but for the sake of your attention span, I'm only giving you our top four picks.
The Traffic Trampler
Could you imagine a superhero whose main purpose was to free up traffic for you to get to where you need to go in a pinch? I could definitely signal the Traffic Trampler on weekdays after 4 p.m. on the Black Horse Pike.
Also, can we talk about the traffic down here in the summer? Horrendous. Traffic Trampler to the rescue!
The Shoobie Sweeper
You're excited to head to the beach for the day, only to get there and find your go-to spot overran with visitors by 9 a.m on a Saturday. This isn't anything new and, of course, we love when people come and use our beaches as they are basically the source of our economy, but sometimes you just want beach time without having people on top of you, whichever way you look.
The Shoobie Sweeper can also just take it upon himself (or herself) to shoo away anybody without any couth from our beach towns. If you're coming here to trash the place, the Shoobie Sweeper will quickly usher you FAR AWAY from here.
The Wawa Whisperer
When I can't make up my mind at Wawa (which is, basically, an everyday occurrence), the Wawa Whisperer would be able to look deep into my soul to tell me exactly what I want to eat without me having to figure it out myself.
Sometimes, I just can't decide!
The Tax Tamer
It's no secret that where South Jersey gets ya in the pockets is in your property taxes. Sure, we're not the cheapest place to live on more than one level, but the property taxes are a KILLER. Do you know how much money we'd all have if our property taxes weren't so dang high?
The Tax Tamer would work his or her magic to fix our high property taxes so we could all get the homes we actually WANT rather than having to settle on what we can afford month to month because we're paying so much in property tax.
Can we work on getting a Tax Tamer, for real, though? That's a superhero I think we could ALL agree that we need BADLY.