Would a Giant Penis Statue Lead to Better Driving By Shoobies in South Jersey?
I don't know about you, but when I see a car meandering down the Parkway, holding up the traffic from flowing in the left lane, I zero in on the license plate to see if it's a car from Pennsylvania or beyond.
Is it a Shoobie holding up traffic? Again?
Maybe what we need is giant penis statue on the Garden State Parkday, somewhere around mile-marker 34. Actually it could be anywhere on the Parkway, or the Atlantic City Expressway, or the Black Horse Pike, or the White Horse Pike. I think you get the idea.
Check out what they built on a road in the Chachoengsao province of Thailand:
That's a big penis statue all right!
Do Thailand drivers need that statue to get the bad drivers out of the passing lane? Do they have a problem with vacationers too?
Well, honestly, no. That's really not what it's for.
According to ThetHaiger.com, the statue was erected (yep, my mind is stuck in 5th grade), to bring rain. By the way - it worked!
"If you guessed that the penis statue and rain blessing ceremony brought moisture, you’re right. According to a village leader, about 2 days after the giant genitalia were built, the rains came. Yesterday at about 3 pm, the village was showered with about a 30-minute downpour."
According to the website, the statue "is part of an ancient rain-making ceremony that has been practised for generations in the village. Prayers and offerings to the statue will continue in order to invite more plentiful rains."
Granted, we don't currently have a lack of rain problem, so we don't need the statue for that. We do, however, have a "bad out-of-state drivers problem" - and maybe a similar statue - with a few prayers or offerings thrown in - could solve the problem.
Nothing else seems to work, right?
So, what do you say? Are you for the giant penis statue to improve driving? Hey, Governor Murphy, what say you?
Who knows, this could be a happy ending!
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