5 Ways to Spot Swingers in Your New Jersey Neighborhood

I'm a firm believer that what you do in the privacy and comfort of your own home is your business.

Absolutely your business.

But, I am curious about all those strange cars in your driveway every weekend.

New Jersey is a swinging state - apparently

According to a study by NonGamStopBets, New Jersey is the ten most interested-in-swinging-state. (That doesn't mean New Jersey has the 10th most swingers, it just means that New Jersey has the most people Googling a swinging lifestyle versus other states. - Hey, maybe we just like to read a lot!)

(I don't know what a betting website is doing studies about swinging. Do swingers gamble more?)

Anyway, the study found that for every 100,000 residents in New Jersey, 449.87 people are searching for information on swinging lifestyles.

What is a swinger?

If you're lost at this point because you don't know what a swinger is, the Oxford Dictionary is coming to the rescue:

1. "a person who is fashionable and has an active social life."

2. "a person who takes part in group sex or exchanging sexual partners."

(I think we're talking mostly about #2 in this article. At least I think so...)

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How to spot a swinger

Paul Hayward is CEO of  NonGamStopBets, and he says there are signs on how you can spot a "secret swinger" in your neighborhood.

(As God is my witness, I don't know anything about Mr. Hayward or his lifestyle - and just how he knows this.)

Here are the signs - which, by the way, don't necessarily mean someone is a swinger. It just means that they could be.

1. An upside-down pineapple. It could be a home decoration, or a tattoo, or an emblem on a piece of clothing.

2. A black ring on the right-hand ring finger.

3. Large mirrors. ( I assume this means in a house, not sitting out on the front lawn.)

4. Seemingly innocent lawn decorations such as pink flamingos, garden nomes, or a pampas grass bed. (I don't know - Google it.)

5. A hot tub.

Side Bar: Thank God Paul didn't say a "Statue of the Virgin Mary", right?

There's only one place to go from here: The End.