Dear World: Joe Kelly is Not Having An Affair With Renee Chambers

In order to keep peace in my life, I hereby pledge and promise that I'm not having an affair with Renee Chambers - whoever that happens to be.

I actually don't know anyone named Renee Chambers. (Unless I, well, conveniently forgot.)

So here's the deal.

I woke up the other morning and where my car keys usually are, in the kitchen, was this note from my wife:

I think she's kidding. She's got to be kidding, right?

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Let's start at the beginning.

I play golf. I like golf. I play golf often. Well, kind of often. As often as possible.

I'm OK at golf, maybe good, not great. I try to keep golf balls on the course, but occasionally - or occasionally often - I hit balls into the woods, ponds, etc. When that happens - especially in the woods - I go and look for my golf ball. Sometimes I find it and sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I find other golf balls, balls that aren't mine. I then do what many golfers do - I grab those balls and throw them in my pocket or my golf bag.

At the end of a typical 18-hole round, I may lose a few balls and gain a few balls. It makes me feel like I'm even.

The thing is, the golf balls I find, usually are a variety of colors, manufacturers, or whatever. Sometimes, they are "customized", which sometimes is the ball marked by the owner of the ball. That's how I ended up with Renee Chamber's golf ball.

Again, I don't know Renee Chambers, but I have her golf ball. I have other people's old golf balls too. Here's a picture of some of them.

So, to my wife, and to all golf wives: sometimes we end up with other people's golf balls. It doesn't mean anything. (Well, usually, LOL)

As I conclude, if you are Renee Chambers - and this is your golf ball, I'd be happy to return it! Just email me: joe.kelly@townsquaremedia.com. Please, though, no scantily-clad photos. LOL