Holiday Traditions That Gotta Go
The holiday season is full of traditions. We leave milk and cookies for Santa. Most countries leave alcohol, the U.K. leaves sherry for Santa, we are doing something wrong here. We put up a Christmas tree. We watch Christmas movies. We decorate the house. I could go on. While many of these traditions are great, some need to go.
Here are 14 traditions that need to stop.
1. Elf on the Shelf
This new tradition has taken the internet by storm. The elf gets into a lot of trouble. The elf is hanging like Spider-man, eating candy, and making a mess. He needs to learn some manners..
2. Secret Santa
What's wrong with buying a gift for under $10 for a person you aren't really friends with? Uhm everything! How many coffee mugs, lotions, and gift cards does someone really need?
3. "Baby It's Cold Outside"
How many versions of "Baby It's Cold Outside" do we need? One was enough. Have you listened to the lyrics? It is the creepiest song in the world. "...Say what's in this drink?..." What???? "...I ought to say, no, no, no sir (mind if I move in closer?) At least I'm gonna say that I tried (what's the sense in hurtin' my pride?) I really can't stay (oh baby don't hold out)..." Need I say more? Sorry Dean Martin, it's just a little too weird for me.
4. Harry Potter as Christmas Movies
HARRY POTTER IS NOT CHRISTMAS!!! I don't know who decided that the Harry Potter movies were Christmas movies, but we need to have a sit down and talk. Just because they have a Christmas scene in some of the movies does not make them Christmas. Which brings us to our next one...
5. Die Hard as a Christmas Movie
Sorry Bruce Willis, but you going after terrorists does not give me Christmas cheer. That's what the movie is about right? I've never actually seen any of them. Alan Rickman is in one right? Connecting Harry Potter and Die Hard here.
6. 7 Fishes on Christmas Eve
I am not Italian so I can't comment on this because my family doesn't do this. However, someone suggested this to be added to the list. I really like fish, so I don't know if I would mind it too much.
7. Christmas Specials
Everyone has a Christmas special these days, Gwen Stefani and Bill Murray for example. They also have a cartoon version of Elf and this year one network is doing a live version of A Christmas Story. Relax already. Give me the old school Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, or A Charlie Brown Christmas and I'm happy.
8. Inflatable Decorations
I'm sorry for sounding blunt, but this just screams laziness. They look tacky and take no effort to put up at all. I miss the good 'ol days when dad climbed up on a ladder and put a Santa and sleigh on the roof. Speaking of lazy decorations...
9. Lights Projected on the House
I cannot begin to explain how awful these are. They don't cover the whole house and they look dumb. Throw some net lights on a bush and call it a day. Stop with the projection lights... No one really likes them you just like the idea of not having to put any effort into it.
10. Christmas Trees that aren't Trees
STOP with the Christmas pineapples or Christmas palm trees. Stop with the string art or ladders. Don't make a tree from beer bottles, wine bottles, wine glasses, books, or put ornaments on a wall to resemble the shape of a tree. Either get a real or fake tree. If not, don't use a tree at all. While we are on this subject stop with the white, blue, pink, maroon, periwinkle or any color that isn't green trees.
11. A Christmas Carol
Now I LOVE the story A Christmas Carol, however like "Baby It's Cold Outside" we have WAY too many versions. I will suggest seeing The Man Who Invented Christmas though which came out this year. It's about Charles Dickens and his process writing the book. It's fantastic.
12. A White Christmas
I really don't want to go over this again, but it is WAY over rated. If you want to know why a white Christmas is overrated read the article "Is a White Christmas Overrated?"
This was given to me by suggestion as well. Mike from SoJO 104.9's morning show told me I could quote him on this, "they are violating the noise ordinance and trespassing." So there's that.
Did you know the tradition of mistletoe comes from Norse mythology? Yes, the same mythology that has given us Thor and Loki. Loki used mistletoe to kill his stepbrother Baldur. How come we haven't had Baldur in a Thor movie? I feel like they could do a Christmas special with Thor using this story. Read the full story on mistletoe here.